Another Easter

April 20th

Last night was the first of sleeping with the windows open. Spring is here, indeed. It's something else to wake up to fresh air.

Lying there, in the cool blue of early dawn, I heard God speak to me. I was going through the contents of my previous night's dream searching for possible subconscious messages, when the Spirit began to explain and speak love, hope, and assurance.

I smiled because God's timing is impeccable. Over the last 24 hours, I had felt disconnected and lost from my faith. Leading up to Easter weekend, I had read through all four endings of the Gospel accounts. I was left with more thoughts, questions, and wonderment than ever. I didn't know what to believe. Among my doubts: Was God really one who listens, cares and wants a closeness to me personally? And then this morning, before I had really awoken, God was like yep - I'm still here and I still care.

As I got up to go through my routine with Hobbes, I reflected on one of the things the Spirit had pointed out - how far I have come in the last year.

Last Holy Week, I was in Northwest Arkansas. After a difficult beginning to 2024, I needed a vacation. I rented a cabin and took Hobbes to go spend time in my hometown. My depression had flared again, my relational anxiety was ever-present, and I was desperately holding onto life with all the trembling strength I had left. On Good Friday, I got my WORth ;T tattoo. On Easter Sunday, I attended the Mount Sequoyah Methodist sunrise service. God spoke to me then, too.

Try as I might, I can't ignore my calling: to write and teach a new way for the American church. Who knows how I'll make a financial living, but this is the career for me. In my ordinary uniqueness, I have lots to bring to the table.

So Arielle, remember this. You exist, you are loved, and you belong in this world.